Ikea ikea
I
Know
Every
Aisle
Ikea ikea
Your resistance is futile
Ikea ikea
You think you’ve got style?
When it’s got its own pile at the local tip And you don’t know if you’ve got wood or recycled plastic
I sheepishly shuffle with my hangover hard on Which like a krokig clothes stand you could hang a hat and coat on
But this is in no way a reflection on the walnut erection of a beautiful bookcase called billy
Behind which I scuttle to disguise my docile protruding willy
Ikea ikea
It’s what the weekend was made for
Ikea ikea
Spend a day with your in laws
Ikea ikea
Euro sceptic are you sure?
That your faux leather footstool is derived from old norse
Your favourite meatballs might be derived from horse
Of course you’re a big fat hypocrite but don’t let that put you off
As there is nothing more English than standing in a queue
Blaming the size of the daim bars upon the EU
Ikea ikea
Chill out and relax
Ikea ikea
Why not check out the gravadlax
Ikea ikea
Choose a wardrobe called PAX
And then swerve your way down to aisle 23
Past flat pack families in mid-scouse mahogany
Oh those love handles and eyelashes don’t come free
I’d say it’s too konstig but it’s swedish to me
To take a trip to ikea to concuss life’s monotony
To take cardboard cake and refillable coffee
ABBA PLEASE!
Take a chance take a chance
Take a chance on me
Is this why you chose divorce over double monogamy?
Ikea ikea
It’s a slow and painful death
Ikea ikea
Buying coffins made of MDF
Ikea ikea
Take a sharp intake of…. breath
When you realise the bastard won’t fit in your car
Cos it isn’t a volvo but a vauxhall corsa
Your wife might divorce yer there’s nowhere to hide
Why not just build the fuckin thing so you can climb inside
You don’t own a hearse so what can you do?
Stuck between the blue devil and the M62
stevedorequinlan 