Ed Sheeran (to the tune of Galway Girl)

Ed you’re so famous all over the world

yet you still fell in love with a Galway Girl

you kissed her on the neck cos you knew it was a hit

to be sure when you added the fiddles and shit (so you did)


Ed sheer an

you talk about yourself in the third person

Ed Sheer an

how she fell in love with that English Man

Ed Sheer an

why not culturally appropriate wherever you can


i mean i’m not trying to body shame

i don’t mean to be rude

you see i feel that ginger heritage

deep in my pubes

i just dont like the shape of you


Ed Sheer an

you cynically manipulate the chart top ten

Ed Sheer an

release the same single again and again

Ed Sheeran

i bet you kissed a galway girl just to get an irish passport

to swerve immigration when you go to an airport

I mean you say you like Corbyn and you love the EU

but you musical passport is pure BREXIT blue

you sell your music to the many not the few


Ed Sheer-an

your castle on the hill is my idea of hell

Ed Sheer-an

it makes me long for a comeback from Adele

Ed Sheer-an

your juxtaposed messages don’t sit well

i mean you were never homeless and didnt claim to be

but there are still homeless people in kensington and chelsea

and you were determined and would not accept defeat

in stopping those people from sleeping on your street


Ed Sheer-an

i’ll cover my ears if it gets too bad

Ed Sheer-an

But try living next door to the Etihad

Ed Sheer-an

where you sold four nights to the easily pleased

like some dub step dystopian bad taste disease

lyrical Kraft singles of processed cheese.

you did it your way

got sued by marvin gaye

Ed Sheer-an til fade…


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